


Not A Soul To Hear

by CreamPuffBunny



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2014-06-28
Packaged: 2018-02-06 15:24:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1862808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreamPuffBunny/pseuds/CreamPuffBunny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the song, ‘Rains of Castamere’ from Game of Thrones. Alfred travels back to Ivan’s castle, a once powerful stronghold now obliterated. His hope is to bring Ivan back from the land of dead and into the light, where they could possibly live together as a couple. But will Ivan be able to leave the home, life and memories he holds so dear? AU. Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not A Soul To Hear

*****Welcome to another RusAme one-shot written by yours truly! This is one of my more 'angsty' ficlets full of, well, angst. The idea came to me while listening to the 'Rains of Castamere' from Game of Thrones (A Song of Ice and Fire). I wrote the lyrics to the ballad here in this ficlet as well. This is also one of my shortest one-shots, which I'm rather pleased of! I'm learning to condense my writing. So I hope you, the reader, come to enjoy it! This is self-edited, btw. Read and review please! ^_^**

*****Warning: Language, dark themes, angst**

*****Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I am making no money off of this fic.**

* * *

' _ **And who are you,**_

_**The proud lord said** _

_**That I must bow so low?'** _

**Not A Soul To Hear**

Alfred Jones entered upon what was once enemy territory on his steed with sword and shield by his side. A proud knight, Alfred returned to the ruins of a once mighty stronghold and its land now crumbled with burnt fields. He remembered the land clearly before his kingdom and army raided it by orders of the king. It was a lush land with rolling hills, fertile crops, and many, many sunflowers. All of that land and its flowers were gone now, burnt or brown dried up stalks littering the gray fields. The path remained the same; long, winding, and smooth. His horse, Freedom, stopped and stomped his front hoof on the path, not wanting to go any further. Up ahead was the castle of Chillgrave, a once very large powerhouse of other lords and their lands.

Once a thriving castle town and stronghold, Chillgrave now lay dark, broken, and empty- or so it was told. Some tales were simple stories meant to scare children, saying that the ghosts of the castle's inhabitants still roamed the empty halls, peeking out from windows or tending fields that were no longer fertile. But those campfire tales were not the reason why Alfred chose to come back to the now barren wasteland. He had ridden with the king's army to conquer, destroy, and kill the residents of Chillgrave, any who did not surrender. Alfred refused to kill the innocents that bloody day, choosing to swing his sword at soldiers rather than farmers, women and children. Many of the residents fled, leaving their homes and lives behind them. The other powerhouses who had joined forces with Chillgrave had left after they lost the battle, leaving their High Lord behind; alone. All of this was to ensure that Chillgrave, its allies, and their subjects were to never grow strong enough to rise against the king. The destruction of Chillgrave was to be a warning to any other whom wishes to rebel against or question the crown.

All of this did not settle well with Alfred. He only returned, seven months later, to see if the rumor he heard was true. Ivan, the Lord of Chillgrave, was said to still be living in the ruined halls of his castle, surviving by himself, alone and forgotten by those he had trusted or lost. Alfred had always wanted to come back here but the ghost stories had kept him away; he was very superstitious when it came to the supernatural. And yet, after hearing this rumor he could no longer keep himself away from the ghost castle. Such a name was accurate as the lands stood now, gray and barren with not a sound to be heard. A mist covered the ground, dark clouds seemed prominent over the castle lands, and the ghosts of the dead may still be walking this path. Alfred felt a shiver run through him and it seemed like his horse had felt it too. There was a dark presence here, of that Alfred was certain. A part of him wanted to turn back and leave this empty place to be nothing more than a bloody memory, yet he urged Freedom forward.

Alfred was noble knight, always fighting for freedom and justice, for his land, people and country. He considered himself a self-proclaimed hero of the kingdom since he was undefeated in jousts, battle, and  _justice_. His family was one of the richest in the land that often helped the poor by offering financial donations to the towns' leaders. They would give to the church as well as charity organizations. Alfred was not only a knight but a city officer as well that would patrol certain streets to keep watch for trouble. He was very well liked and respected by the people who loved him. And now, as his horse continued to the fallen castle, Alfred wanted to share that same sense of noble justice for Ivan. While Lord Ivan's actions and possible promise of rebellion was against the law of king and church, Alfred could not let this complete injustice slide by. He did his duty, yes, but he wished the orders had been given differently. If Lord Ivan was indeed still alive then at least the fallen man could have a chance at rejoining society. Alfred would stand by the man when they face the king and offer his full support.

However, there was another reason Alfred had decided to come back, one that was to be his secret and his alone. They had known each other as squires, training to be knights at the same camp when they were in their childhood years. The training had started early for young boys but the two didn't meet until they were in their teen years, staring down a lance at the other. Alfred was fourteen summers and Ivan fifteen winters. Ivan had always been the tallest boy in their group but was pudgy, which he often got made fun of for. Sometimes Alfred would join in yet he never allowed the jokes to go to far. He would stop the other boys from making fun of Ivan. In a way, Alfred guessed that Ivan had always respected him for that. There was one day in general that Alfred could remember as if it had just happened yesterday on the banks of the training grounds' stream. He and Ivan lay side by side, taking a break in the afternoon summer sun to watch the clouds pass by. Ivan was tired of being picked on and he let his feelings be known to Alfred.

' _They will all be sorry, just you wait._ ' Ivan had said. ' _I will become a strong knight and an even stronger lord! They laugh at my name now, but I swear upon the sun and stars that one day, the sound of my name will make them tremble_.' He turned to look at Alfred. ' _And you will tremble too_.'

' _This is just the way things are, Ivan.'_  Alfred answered. ' _The boys are mean to everyone. As my father says, you have to develop a hard skin and keep trying to make friends with those who are mean to you._ '

' _It's not the same, Alfred. Your family is well respected and honored, while mine is often shunned. Just because my family and name has a bad history doesn't mean that it will always be that way.'_

Alfred sat up from the grass. ' _But if you want people to tremble at the sound of your name then aren't you playing in to your family's fierce history?'_

' _I will make them respect me. Mark my words, they will respect me.'_

Alfred began to fear for the young boy after hearing those words and seeing that dark look upon the normally innocent child-like face. He started to follow Ivan around, keeping close to him, trying to remain his friend and offer support. Sometimes they would argue over philosophies of reign; Ivan wanted people to fear him and Alfred wanted people to love him. But try as he might, Alfred could not convince Ivan to change his feelings. And then one night, while taking shelter from the rainstorm in a barn, Ivan had kissed him. Not on the cheek, not on the forehead, but on the lips. The kiss was quick and dry, leaving Ivan embarrassed and Alfred confused.

' _What was that for?'_  Alfred asked with a crooked smile.  _'You're not going berserk on me, are you?'_

' _No, why would I?'_  Ivan questioned.

' _Well…you just kissed me! Why did you do that? I'm not a girl, you know.'_  He tried to make a joke but Ivan wasn't smiling.

' _Our training ends tomorrow…we won't be seeing each other.'_

' _Yes we will! Maybe not a lot, but this isn't goodbye.'_  Alfred smiled at him, clasping a hand to the broad shoulder of the other. ' _We'll still be friends as knights and lords, you know_!' He noticed that Ivan didn't look convinced.

' _You consider me your friend?'_

' _I do!'_

' _Then come with me.'_  Ivan took both of Alfred's hands in his own.  _'Come with me back to Chillgrave! Continue your training with me!'_

Alfred was surprised by Ivan's request but could only answer at first with a shake of his head. When Ivan asked 'why not', Alfred had to carefully find the words to answer. ' _My family has always trained with the Kirklands, Beilschmidts, and Bonnefoys. I can't go against generations of tradition.'_

' _I thought you were my friend!'_

' _I am your friend! But like you I have duties to my family, land and kingdom! I am still your friend, Ivan, but I can't go with you. I'm sorry.'_

Ivan pulled way from him quickly as if he had been burnt. ' _You are like all the others then! I thought we could be friends!'_  He stopped Alfred from interrupting him.  _'You cannot deny that there is something between us, Alfred! You know it as well as I.'_

' _Ivan…it would never work.'_  Alfred answered. ' _Not in this cruel world._ '

' _Then you are just another thorn in my side, Alfred Jones._ ' Ivan turned and stormed out into the rain.

Alfred wished they hadn't had parted on such bad terms but there was nothing he could do about it now. He wondered if Ivan would even remember him? After all, that was fifteen some years ago! Time has a way of changing thoughts and feelings. So onward he rode his steed, through the crumbled gate and ghost town until he reached the castle door. Alfred looked upon the castle, crumbled in some places from their catapults. The castle had been old to begin with and some heavy rocks were enough to take down pieces of it. All those rocks had needed was one weak point to make the stones come tumbling down. Looking at the left tower he could remember a series of roses climbing up the side, only now they were black vines and covered in thorns. The sunflowers that were prominent at the front of the castle doors were no longer there but rotten stems still stood. It was like a dark shadow of evil had been cast upon this place. Castle Chillgrave had finally lived up to its name.

'It's so dark and cold here.' Alfred got off his horse and tied Freedom to an old post.

Approaching the door he gave one side a hard push, finding it to be unlocked and open. He slipped through and came to the main entry hall that smelt of dampness and death. With a hand on his sword hilt he proceeded, slowly, to walk the main hall looking all around. One thing that he immediately questioned were the dead bodies. Where were they? Alfred could remember this castle being lined with them, soldiers and servants alike. Their bones should still be here with rotting flesh still clinging and yet it was empty. Alfred gulped. Did they all turn into ghosts? Or were they now the walking dead? Was this place truly haunted and curse like the tales that were told? But he told himself that he must be brave, so he used that courage to continue further into the castle. He passed by rooms filled with destruction from the kitchen to the halls, each one littered in rumble. Pots, decorations, pictures, candles, tapestries, all were destroyed. Alfred had much to step over. But once again he asked, where are the bodies? He checked the throne room, seeing that it too was completely clean and empty of bodies, as well as Ivan. Alfred walked to Ivan's chair to examine it more closely, finding it to be dusted and cleaned. When he placed a hand on the purple cushion, he was frightened to find that it was still warm!

"Someone was just here." He looked around for signs of the person. There was no one around. "Maybe it was an animal?"

Leaving the throne room he continued through the castle and headed upstairs to the second floor. Still no bodies. He checked the rooms and all were empty. Going up to the third floor he found the family rooms. The one at the end suddenly squeaked closed and clicked. Alfred nearly let out a cry of surprise. He remained still for a few moments, considering going forward or turning around to leave. He chose to continue on to the door with a hand on his hilt. He listened inside but there was no sound. Placing a hand on the door handle, he pushed down and it clicked open. Holding his breath he pushed it open, stuck his head inside, and looked around. The room had to be Ivan's given the huge bed, large fireplace and other rich decorations. Throwing the door open Alfred let himself be known if someone were in here; and there was.

A large form of a man stood in front of a crumbled window, much wider now that it had lost many of its stones. There was no mistaking that light silver hair, a mix of gray or light blonde. Ivan always had an interesting hue of hair color. So the rumor really was true, the Lord of Chillgrave still remained in the castle, alone, with only the ghosts of the past for company.

"Who's there?" Ivan asked, not turning to see. His voice was calm, sounding almost tired or worn. "Are you a ghost?"

"No, I'm not." Alfred answered.

"If you are not a ghost then who are you? Why enter my castle and room?" Ivan turned his head only slightly. "I have nothing more to give. Take what you'd like and go."

Alfred stepped further into the room. "Lord Ivan, do you remember who I am? Turn around so that we may see one another." He worried what he was going to see once Ivan looked at him. He was picturing the look of a monster. Ivan did turn to face him, looking the same as he did the last time Alfred had seen him at the battle. Only Ivan was paler with no color in his cheeks, his purple eyes looked gray with dark bags beneath them while his lips gave a woeful smile in Alfred's direction.

"Of course I remember you, Alfred. You are not one who could easily be forgotten. Now what brings you to my home?"

"Ivan…ever since your castle fell I've been thinking about you. I've heard tales and stories about this place, so I wanted to come and see if they were true."

Ivan barely moved. "So people still talk of me? What do they say? Nothing good, I'm sure?"

"They say that ghosts haunt this land and castle. They said that you were still living here, completely alone, with only-"

"-the ghosts of my past." Ivan finished for him. "Yes, those stories are true. Can't you hear them?"

"Hear who?" Alfred listened but heard nothing.

"The cries of my people as they seek salvation from their brutal deaths." Ivan took one step closer to Alfred. "Can you really not hear them? I hear them all the time. I feel the pain in my chest to know that so many innocents were murdered by your king."

Alfred lowered his head. "As am I. Ivan, please understand that I spoke against the killing of innocents. I've only ever killed soldiers or knights. During this raid I killed only your guards and soldiers who came at me with a weapon and no one else."

"Tell that to the weeping mother standing behind you." Alfred sharply turned to look behind but nothing was there. "Her child was killed in the raid, and then she followed after."

'He sees ghosts?' Alfred swallowed. "I don't see anyone."

"Do you think me mad then?" Ivan gave him an eerie grin.

Alfred took a hesitant step back. "I…don't think that about you! What I do know is that being completely alone like this isn't good for one's health! You need to leave this place, Ivan. There is nothing left here for you! Come back to the kingdom with me, plead guilty to the rebellion, and I promise you will be kept from the dungeons. I have family in politics. I will stand up for you because that's what a hero does! I cannot speak for the king, or for what happened here, but I just can't sit back and let you continue to live this way. You deserve justice as well."

Ivan pulled his faded purple cloak closer around him. "But I'm not alone. I have the ghosts of my people here to keep me company." He smiled softly. "All of them are in this castle, even my faithful dog, who was beheaded by a soldier of the king."

Alfred bowed his head. "What happened here was tragic, Ivan. I wish it didn't happen, but we can't change the past. So please, come back to the royal city with me!"

"I have everything I need right here." He threw his arms open wide and smiled. "This is my kingdom, Alfred! This is my home! Here I live, here I rule, and here I will stay! Please, fellow knight and lord," He gave a proper bow. "Dine with me and my friends tonight. We could use some…lively company?" He laughed.

Alfred frowned.

The main table was set for at least fifteen people; plates, knives, forks, cups, everything was in place. Alfred sat at the head of the table while Ivan sat at the other end. The look on Ivan's face was strangely happy and calm, as if the man still saw this castle as it once was. Alfred glanced down at his empty plate, wondering if he should pretend that there's food there? Where was the food? He was getting hungry.

"Oh! You must excuse the rudeness of my cook." Ivan gave a sheepish smile. "He gets too drunk sometimes and forgets to bring the dinner! I'll go and get it. Be right back!" Ivan hurried away and soon came back with a large silver tray steaming with a huge slab of suckling pig. "Doesn't it just smell scrumptious?"

Alfred raised a brow. "Um…where did THAT come from?"

"The cook made it!" Ivan smiled. "Doesn't it look divine? It's wild boar! My cook is the best in all these parts!" He placed the pig in front of Alfred. "Take all you like!" Ivan noticed the hesitation. "It's not poisoned, Alfred, if that is what you're afraid of. I would never poison you." He ripped off a piece of the pig and ate it. "See? Very yummy."

Alfred couldn't help it. The smell was making his stomach growl. With his fork and knife he cut off some heavy slices. "Thank you." He watched as Ivan did the same. "Hey Ivan? I have a question for you. It's been bothering me since I first set foot in this castle again."

"What is it?"

"Where are all the bodies?" He ate a piece of boar.

Ivan tilted his head. "The bodies? Whatever do you mean?"

"The bodies. Of the people the king's army killed? They were all over this castle…not a soul was left alive."

"Oh, now I understand." He sat back in his chair and lazily sucked on a piece of boar. "I buried them all, of course."

"HUH?" Alfred was dumbstruck. "Y…you BURIED them? All of them?"

Ivan nodded. "Well, all the people who belonged to me. The fallen bodies of my betrayers came to reclaim  _their_  dead. But yes. I carried each one out back, dug a hole, buried them, and put a post where their graves lie. They were always such good subjects who died viciously. They deserved a proper burial. What? What is that look for? You didn't think I would just let the good people of my land rot away in my halls now, would you? Do all of you back at court think me such a horrid monster?"

"What about your soldiers?"

"Most of them left with the other lords. Only a few remained behind to defend Chillgrave with me. I buried them too."

'Okay this is getting very bizarre.' Alfred thought to himself. "Okay…moving on…where did this boar come from? Be honest with me, Ivan. This boar was not made by your 'cook'. This boar was hunted, slaughtered, and cooked. No one else is here. Was it you who had this suckling pig cooking all this time?" Alfred started to notice Ivan's face turning dark once again.

"Of course it was me, Alfred." He said in a low tone, his features darkening. "I know I am the only one here in this castle. This is my home. This is where I was born. I lay in the same bed my mother birthed me in. I ran through these once grand halls as a happy little boy, smiling at the servants, playing with the guards, and enjoying the days of pure, untainted innocence." His smile slowly turned to a grin. "I know everyone is gone. They all either betrayed me or are dead. This is my punishment, my penance, for putting so much trust in to people I thought were my friends. They betrayed me when I needed them the most. Your men lined my halls with the deaths of the innocent when it really should have been the other mighty lords that betrayed me and who still live to this day." Ivan closed his eyes and smiled, rocking back on his chair. "I am completely alone here, Alfred. Yes, I like to believe the ghosts of my castle inhabitants still wander these halls. But in truth, it is I who hunt the game in which you eat. It is I who tend the gardens outside. It is I who rule this castle as a proud member of the Braginski family. I am all that is left of my family bloodline."

Alfred was glad to know that Ivan was aware of his strange behavior. He really couldn't blame the lord for pretending that people still existed. When one lived alone, it was probably natural that they would think up company to keep them from going insane. But Ivan…he lived here all by himself, hunted his own food, grew his own garden, and accepted the notion that he was completely isolated from the world. Alfred's second biggest relief was the fact that there were no real ghosts! Still, it was unhealthy for a man to live alone in a castle trying so hard to pretend that it is still the way it once was.

"Alfred, may I ask you something now?"

"Sure, go ahead."

Ivan stared at him with cold, unseeing eyes. "Why did you really come here? Was it truly to test the rumors of bedtime ghost stories? I know you well enough to understand the true functioning of your heart and curiosity."

Alfred lowered his fork. "You're right, Ivan, there is another reason. As I once said, all those years ago, that I consider us friends. I came back here because you  _are_  my friend. I want you to redeem yourself at court. You don't have to live like this! You are a proud lord and a damn good knight! I've never faced another knight as strong or as challenging as you! I mean…" He glanced away. "I understand why you left…but did you really have to take it this far? Did you really have to upset the king? Knowing how he is?"

Ivan gripped the armrests of his chair. "Do you remember that stormy night fifteen years ago, Alfred? Do you remember when we were still young and new?"

Alfred felt his face grow slightly warm. "Yes…I do. Like it was yesterday. We were sparing in the fields…the rain came…we sought shelter…and then you kissed me."

"But you did not accept my kiss."

"That was my first kiss, Ivan! You can't hold that against me! We were both squires! Knights in training! Do you think we would have become knights and lords if others found out we were KISSING?"

Ivan ate another piece of pig. "So that was all about your pride then? Were you so full of doubt in your abilities to fight that you could not risk having a few odds against you?" Alfred glared. "And who's to say anyone would have found out? Many relationships go unnoticed. Many relationships are kept secret."

Alfred looked away from him. "We were too young, Ivan. I wasn't even aware of any feelings back then."

"Are you aware of them now?" Ivan leaned forward in his chair with his eyes fixating on the breathing human male. "Has the hero come to rescue me from the tower? His long lost first love?" He folded his hands together at his cheek. Alfred stared blankly at him and let a piece of the pig fall back to his plate. "I'm assuming that's a 'no' then?"

"Look…Ivan…I came here to rescue you, yes, that's true. However…I did not do it for any romantic purpose. I did it because you are in this empty place all alone and it's not healthy. Human beings need other humans! You can't just be a recluse all your life!" He imagined Ivan as one of those brown recluse spiders hiding in a dark, damp place. Wait a minute, he was!

Ivan got up from his chair then to move to another window, looking out at the darkening sky. "After all I've been through…I think I prefer to be alone." He turned his head to look back at Alfred. "I much rather be with the dead. The dead can't hurt you." He looked up and all around the hall. "Memories are sweet, yet painful. I'd rather live for these memories than just forget about them simply because the castle is destroyed and empty." He turned back to the window. "In this place I am free. Free of everything that could ever hurt me."

Alfred continued to eat the pig. "It's still not right. I want you to come back with me, Ivan."

Ivan shook his head. "You coming here is living proof that I do not want to return to that miserable, fake life of lords and ladies. Of men playing knights and kings proclaiming themselves gods."

"How am I living proof?" Alfred questioned.

Ivan turned around to smile sadly at him, looking old and withered once again. "You showing up here reminds me of being hurt. Your presence right now reminds me of what I'm trying to escape. I wanted to be with you, Alfred. I thought we could have ruled a very strong empire of lands together. But on that stormy night you said 'no'. That would be the first of my series of heartbreaks. And now here you are, asking for me to come back with you when there was a time you wanted nothing to do with me."

"Once again, Ivan, that was fifteen some years ago! We were boys then but now we are  _men_. You and I have seen the world in a different perspective. Our thought process as young boys is not the same as it is as men. Ivan, you don't belong here. There is nothing left for you here but old memories. It's time to make new ones."

"New ones?" Ivan walked back to his chair looking smug. "What kind of new ones? Do you wish to rekindle the friendship we once had? I wanted romance."

"I wanted friendship." Alfred continued to eat but did not let his eyes leave Ivan. "I still want friendship. Wallowing around in this dead place is telling the king that he has won! The king thinks that you are dead as well. Wouldn't he just piss his pants if you were to walk in to his court?"

"While that would be nice to see, I'm sad to say that I can only imagine it from here. I'm not leaving this place."

"You really want to live off of memories?"

Ivan nodded. "I do. But only the good ones."

After the awkward dinner, Alfred followed Ivan as the man led him through parts of the castle while telling him of memories tied to each room. Alfred thought that Ivan could write a book about all his memories. Some could even be made into ghost stories! Alfred trembled at the idea of it. He began to wonder if he should spend the night here like he intended to. Sleeping outside with Freedom might be a better option considering Ivan's mental state and the eeriness of this castle. Alfred even started to believe that ghosts really did roam these halls with Ivan's spooky storytelling. He thought someone would be watching him sleep, and it wouldn't just be Ivan.

"This is the door to the top of the highest tower." Ivan put his hand on the handle. "Would you like to look at the stars with me? I would like the company."

"Sure." Alfred followed him out and onto the top of the tower, smelling the night breeze and letting out a sigh. "Hm…it's very dark up here. In the main royal city there are always so many lights and torches that I can never see this many stars!"

"Yes. My world in this part of the region is very beautiful, especially at nighttime." Ivan settled himself on his back, motioning for Alfred to join him. When he did, Ivan pointed up to a cluster of stars. "Do you see that gathering of stars right there?"

Alfred followed Ivan's finger and nodded. "Yeah, I do."

"There is a story about that cluster of stars that my mother used to tell me before bed. It was always my favorite story. Would you like to hear it?"

"Yeah. You're good at telling stories, Ivan. But first, what is the cluster of stars supposed to be?"

"A bear. A great big bear surrounded by forest animals. See, the bear is in the middle."

Alfred tried to make out the shape but he couldn't quite see the picture of the bear, so he lied. "I see it."

"Well, the story goes like this. A long time ago there was a great big bear who lived all alone at the edge of a mighty forest. Whenever he would leave his part of the forest to join the other animals they would tease and make fun of him for being so big and different. He was the only animal of his kind, and though very big and powerful he was very shy. One day he came to a meeting with all the animals of the forest. The animals spoke of a terrible danger coming and they pleaded with their king, a great stag, to help ease their fears. To bring them far away from this forest to a safer place, but the king ignored their cries, calling their fears 'silly' and 'mindless'. But the bear spoke up for all the little animals who were always mean to him. He said that if the king would not do anything then he would. And yet the king still ignored them. So came the day when their fears came true. A large pack of hungry wolves from far beyond set foot in the forest, hunting and slaying the smaller animals who could not protect themselves. So along came the great bear who dwarfed the largest wolf and challenged them all. Although the wolves were plenty they were no match for the might and strength of the great bear. Not one wolf was left alive that day. To thank the great bear the other animals made him their king, and he would go on to protect all the smaller animals. The bear saved them from floods and forest fires! And all the animals were forever safe."

That story was a little too close to home for Alfred but he hid it well. "Great story, Ivan. I don't remember my mother ever telling me stories like that. The stories I always heard were of knights and dragons."

"Ah, yes, the knight and the dragon. Classic children's tale to inspire young boys to become knights."

Alfred flushed for when he was a boy playing knights he was always fighting dragons.

"Would you like to hear another story? This one is a love story."

"Does it go with some stars?" Alfred asked.

"No, it doesn't."

"Then go ahead and tell it."

' _ **Only a cat of a different coat**_

_**That's all the truth I know.** _

_**In coat of gold or a coat of red,** _

_**A lion still has claws** _

_**And mine are long, and sharp My Lord,** _

_**As long and sharp as yours.'** _

Ivan folded his hands behind his head. "Once there were two knights; one red and one gold." Alfred frowned. "The Red Knight was thought of as evil because of his dark armor and helm. The Gold Knight wore golden armor that sparkling in the sunlight and wherever he walked flowers would follow in his steps. Everyone loved the Gold Knight, even the Red Knight. The Red Knight approached the Gold Knight one rainy evening. They spoke as old friends. The Gold Knight was kind to him even after the Red Knight knew nothing but unhappiness and cruelty. The Red Knight came to respect his friend in gold. But one day, the Red Knight took a chance and asked for the Gold Knight's hand in marriage. The Gold Knight declined his offer, saying that he had too much more to do in his life and did not have time for such a romance." Alfred's eyes slowly widened. "The Red Knight was sad, but he would not give up on the Gold Knight. The Gold Knight spoke of justice and freedom for all man, woman, and child. The people loved him. The king loved him. Even his enemies loved him. The Red Knight wanted to become even stronger to please the Gold Knight, hoping to one day become worthy of his love. He had everything he needed to rise to greatness, the same as the Gold Knight. The Red Knight shared the same strength as the Gold Knight, but he still had to prove himself. So the Red Knight conjured up an army of many to prove his might to the king. The Red Knight wanted to see the king's reign end and all the men with it if it meant a new world with the Gold Knight by his side. But the Gold Knight betrayed him. The army stormed the Red Knight's land and castle, killing everyone and destroying everything in their path. And then the Red Knight was left alone to his sorrow."

Alfred knew where Ivan was going with this so he responded accordingly. "The Gold Knight only did what was right for the thousands of people he meant to protect. The Red Knight was known not to listen to peaceful terms or even compromise." Their eyes met. "If the Red Knight had accepted peaceful terms then the king would have never sent his armies."

"Oh, the Red Knight knows the Gold Knight was only following orders. The Gold Knight only killed soldiers, not the innocent."

"The Gold Knight wished the Red Knight had done things differently, because maybe, just maybe, there could have been something special between them. Red and gold are very strong colors."

Ivan's tired eyes seemed to smile at him. "Is that so?"

"It's possible."

"If I were the Red Knight and you the Gold Knight, what would you do right now?" He giggled.

Alfred sat up from the floor and Ivan did as well. "He would say that the Red Knight should have spoken to him first and both could have found a better way to conduct their knighthood. He would say that…the Red Knight did nothing wrong other than make some bad choices due to a harsh life. The Gold Knight would still offer his friendship to the Red Knight."

Ivan frowned. "He still would not give the Red Knight any love?"

"Only if the Red Knight would come back with him to the kingdom. Together they could work some things out, get to know one another more, and so on."

"What if the knights want to get to know each other a little more right now?"

Alfred gave a crooked smile. "It's not a rainy night."

Ivan leaned forward, closer to him. "It doesn't have to be. A starry night is full of good luck."

Maybe it was the stars that made Alfred lean forward to meet Ivan's cold kiss. Maybe it was just his way of showing Ivan that he was sorry for all that has happened. Maybe he was looking for that lost romance on that rainy night fifteen years ago. The kiss was different than he remembered. This was not the kiss of two inexperienced boys on the training grounds but rather one between two men. Somehow it was different, or at least it meant something a little more. It felt right to kiss Ivan like this. When they pulled away, Alfred's lips were still softly puckered. Ivan chuckled softly.

"That's adorable."

"I'm a knight. I'm not 'adorable'." Alfred crossed his arms and then yawned. "I am tired, though."

"Why don't I show you to a room?"

Alfred's eyes shifted towards him. "A room?"

"Yes. A room. With a bed to sleep on?"

"Don't mock me."

"Unless," Ivan started with a grin. "You are afraid to sleep alone?"

* * *

Ivan closed the door to Alfred's room behind him while rubbing at the black eye he was currently sporting. Alfred did not like his suggestion to sleep together. A simple 'no thank you' would have been more appropriate than a punch to the face. But no matter how mean or cold Alfred was to him, Ivan still harbored the upmost tenderness of feelings for the old friend. Alfred was always trying to do what was right; he was a man who strongly believed in himself, his kingdom and his principles. Ivan wanted to be like him.

Wandering the dark halls with only a single candle, Ivan thought about Alfred's proposal to return to the kingdom. If he returned, then Alfred would choose to be with him and they could be a couple! 'No,' he said to himself, 'I can not and will not bend my pride. Not even for love.'

Oh but did he love Alfred. There hadn't been a day after that stormy night when Alfred didn't cross his mind. Even though the man ignored his feelings, Ivan always looked up to Alfred; admiring the knight for his sense of justice and morals. Ivan thought they would make a very powerful couple, if Alfred had accepted him. With his barbaric nature and Alfred's lawful morals they could have taken over the kingdom together. King Ivan and King Alfred, the Red and Gold Knight, together forever, and making the world a better place for all to live there.

"A kingdom that is all ours." Ivan spoke softly to a torn painted portrait of himself. "A kingdom where I am king and rule beside my beloved Gold Knight." His eyes turned sad. "What happened to us, Old Ivan?" He asked the painting that stared stonily at him. "Where did we go wrong?"

Alfred.

In his empty chambers, Ivan placed the candle stand on the end table, removed his robes and slid beneath the sheets. Folding his hand behind his head he let the image of Alfred appear. It was a sweet image of the Gold Knight. Closing his eyes, Ivan let his mind wander, starting with Alfred's naked body; well toned muscles beneath golden brown skin. Alfred would be the light in this dark castle. Those blue eyes will sparkle bright, those perfect lips will whisper his name in pleasure and muscular arms will cradle him. Yes, that is what he yearned for, what he longed to have and now Alfred was here with him. But how to keep the man here? Alfred will never stay in this place willingly, but he refuses to leave with the man and plea for mercy from the king. Ivan was not sorry for rebelling against the king, it needed to be done. Secretly, his hope was to please Alfred, show how mighty he was, rule large amounts of land and have the knight all to himself. Alfred was a man who needed to be impressed, or so he thought. His rise to power did not impress Alfred but instead turned the knight's sword towards him to defend the king. That part had been miscalculated. Some part of him said to just give up and leave with Alfred, which would be the best way to obtain his love. The other part of him had too much pride, refusing to bend the knee or apologize to the king. He would not apologize to a man who allowed for hundreds of innocents to be slaughtered. How could he dishonor their memory by giving up?

'No, this is my home. This is where I was raised, this is where I will stay, and this is where I will die.'

The following morning it had begun to rain, shielding the castle and its grounds in an even darker aura of depression. Alfred woke up to something cold and wet dripping onto his nose. Peeking an eye open, he looked up to catch a drop of rain water fall from the ceiling and onto the tip of his nose. A leak. Rolling out of bed he rubbed his nose dry and went over to the window where the heavy pattering of rain echoed off the glass. With some force he managed to get the window open, then yelped when it fell off its hinges to go spiraling to the ground. 'Oops.' Alfred thought as he watched the window fall and disappear into the dense fog. Alfred thought it strange that this castle had so much fog for simple rain. Peeking up at the sky the clouds were not gray but a thick, heavy black that seemed abnormal. 'Maybe this place really is haunted and cursed' he thought 'And Ivan just doesn't see it.' Turning back, he walked over to the chair where his clothes were placed only to find them soaked. 'What the-' he looked up to see another leak. 'Great.'

So dressed in only his under tunic and pants, Alfred slipped on his dry boots to make his way towards Ivan's chambers. He hoped the man was awake. Alfred wanted to ask if there was a stable that he could put Freedom in. Poor thing had been out in the rain for who knows how long. Just as he was about to knock he felt the presence of something behind him. He looked over his shoulder.

"Hello, Alfred."

"GAH! IVAN!" Alfred jumped. "You scared me!" He noticed Ivan's extra weary look. "Hey, you okay? No offense, but you look like someone ran over you with a carriage and left you for dead in the mud."

Ivan made no facial expression at the words, nor did he even register it as a joke. "Were you looking for me?"

"Yeah, actually. Obviously, it's raining like hell outside and my horse has been out in it. Is the stable still intact? Can I put Freedom in there?" Ivan nodded. "Great! So um, I'll go do that now?"

"If you'd like." Ivan's response was soft.

"Are you sure you're okay? I mean, you're not the same as yesterday."

Ivan shrugged his shoulders. "The rain is depressing, especially here. After the king's men slaughtered my people and destroyed my land…after they had all gone…after I took in what had happened…it began to rain. A cloud that never ceased its rain, looming over my home, for days on end. All the people I had to bury while the rain fell…wet ground…mud…" he glanced at Alfred "Their pale bodies shining against the wet dirt…"

"I get it. Stop right there." Alfred put both hands up. "How about I go take care of Freedom and you get breakfast ready for us? Okay?" Ivan nodded. "Great! I'll see you in a bit then!"

Alfred was thrilled to get away from the walking dead that was Ivan Braginski. Going outside in the rain he found poor Freedom soaked through, trembling slightly in the cold. Alfred guided the horse to where the stables were and found that the entire area was destroyed, the roof barely covering anything. The far end of the stable had most of the roof left so Freedom would have to stay there. He felt terrible leaving his pride and joy in this ugly place, especially when the corpses of the stable animals still lie in their stalls. Alfred counted three horses, each one rotting, the skin gray and paper thin hanging over the skeleton. There was also a few cows, some goats, and a couple sheep. Slaughtered chickens, ducks, and geese littered the floor. Freedom neighed, shook his head, and tried to back out of the stables.

"I don't blame you, buddy." Alfred soothed him. "I can't leave you in here! It's a damn animal graveyard! Let's- " but he stopped when a wooden cross up ahead caught his eye. Curious, he pulled Freedom through the stable and out through the other side, entering once again into the rain. His eyes widened at the sea of crosses stretching out far into the back field. Ivan had been speaking the truth when he said that everyone was buried, by him. He found the graveyard! Tying Freedom to the stable post, he carefully made his way through the graves, ignoring the rain pounding down on him. Alfred couldn't believe how many there were. Too many to seem real. They seemed to whisper to him as he passed. Alfred felt a heavy curtain of dread wash over him, feeling as if he too would get lost in this sea of graves. Like a hundred icy hands upon him, Alfred thought he could feel the sorrow coming from these numerous graves. It was a terribly depressing feeling. Was this the feeling that Ivan had to live with day after day?

"Do you hear them?" Alfred turned around to see Ivan, cloaked in black and holding a lantern. "Well? Do you?"

Alfred looked at the nearest cross beside him. "I think I do…but the dead can't talk. It's just my imagination."

Ivan smiled from under his hood. "Is it?" He waited for Alfred to answer but no words came. "If they could speak, Alfred, what do you think they would be saying?"

" 'Why did this happen', maybe?"

Ivan shook his head. "They know why it happened. Each of them know why they were put to the sword. Men, women, children…they all know why. It's because of me."

"No, Ivan! It's not because of you!" Alfred hollered through the rain. "These people in your castle were innocent! We both know that! They did not die because of you! They died because the king doesn't give a shit if peasants live or die! You were the reason HE used! I spoke out against it! I told you that!"

"And I believe you." Ivan smiled. "But I still feel guilty for all these good people to have lost their lives because of me. If they hadn't been living in my castle they would still be alive to this day."

Alfred wiped the wet bangs from his face. "The king wanted to make an example of you! This was a warning to all those who might think of rebelling as well! Ivan…come back with me. Please!"

"I will never bow down to that king! NEVER!"

"THEN DON'T!" Alfred hollered back. "DON'T DO IT! COME AND LIVE WITH ME!"

Ivan's brows lifted. "Live with you?"

"Yes! We'll go to my family's summer home in the mountains! You can reconnect with yourself there! Ivan, I can't leave you here in this terrible place! It's full of bad memories! There is nothing here for you!"

Ivan threw the lantern to the ground. "I WILL NOT LEAVE MY HOME!" Heavy tears began to fall down his cheeks. "I love this place! This is my home! Don't take it away from me, Alfred! Please!"

Alfred kept a steady, solid gaze on him.

"This is all I have that is still  _mine_! If I leave, then the king wins! If I go back with you, the king wins! The only way I can win is to stay here…with you…if you'll have me?" Ivan fell to his knees before Alfred. "All I've done has been to please you! I wanted to be worthy of you! Alfred, I have never stopped loving you since that night we shared our first kiss! So please…please…I ask of you…stay here with me? Stay with me and  _love_  me. Be my light in this darkness."

Alfred reached out his hand and pulled Ivan up from the ground. "Come with me, back to the castle." The two went back inside the castle and this time took Freedom with them. Once under the dome of the main doors, Alfred turned to Ivan. "I can't stay here with you, Ivan. This is no place for me. My people and kingdom need me. I do not belong in the world of dead. I am still full of life. I am the sun and you are storm cloud, ever raining, ever weeping, and ever lonely. Unless you choose to come back with me…where we can have a life together?" They shared a serious look. "Will you come back with me? I would like you to."

Ivan felt what little was left of his heart shatter along with his spirit. Alfred, his last ray of hope and light, did not want to live here with him. And why would he? Alfred was right. His people needed him…for his people were still  _alive_. His kingdom needed him…which was _alive_ and booming with industry. The world needed his sense of justice, his honorable pride and glorious smile that promised away all your troubles. Why would he want to live here, in a place so dark, damp, and cold that even the dead won't want to reside with him? He could not, and would not, go back to that world that showed him nothing but unkindness, injustice and betrayal. Now that he had his answer he could turn away.

"Then this is where we part."

Alfred raised his brows. "What? Wait, Ivan, are you serious?"

Ivan opened up the old wooden door, refusing to turn around. "I am. I will not leave my home. Someone must stay here at Chillgrave. Someone must continue to live on in these halls. I would…have loved it if you remained here with me, Alfred. Together we could make this place bright again. Together we could have started fresh and new, as a young couple, living off the land…sharing dinners…looking at the stars…making love…all those things that would make life a little more worth living."

"Don't speak like that! I will love you if you come back with me! We can start life anew there! At my home!"

Ivan shook his head but still would not look at his beloved. He stares blankly into the dark damp halls of his home. "As you've said yourself, you don't belong here. This is no place for strong hearts and brave spirits. And if you really do love me, like you say, then you wouldn't question where we lived together. You said…that you would love me  _if_  I came back with you…but not if you lived here with me."

Alfred took a deep breath and let it out as a sigh. "This place would suck the life right out of me, as it has done to you. If we must part, then know this; my door is always opened to you if you ever change your mind." Ivan didn't answer. "Let us part as friends this time." He would leave right from here without his sword or knights clothing. "I always see us as friends, and wish to part as such." Still, Ivan did not move. Alfred looked away. "I understand." He mounted Freedom. "Then this is where we part, Ivan Braginski, Lord of Chillgrave and the Red Knight!" He gave Ivan one more chance to turn around, but still the man remained with his back towards him. "Remember my promise to you! I wish you only best. Farewell, my friend!"

Ivan cringed at the sound of Freedom's hooves hitting the wet ground as the pair rode away from him and out of his life. Closing his eyes tight he leaned against the side of the door, trying to hold in his tears as they threatened to fall. He did not want to cry, he didn't even want to look back at their retreating figures. Slipping inside, he took a few deep breaths before pushing the door shut, letting its sound echo heavily in the hall.

Now he stood, alone and in the dark, with nothing more than his memories and shattered hope. He would never return to Alfred's world. Perhaps this is just how it was always meant to be? Perhaps this was his purpose in life. Perhaps this was his penance from God for challenging His appointed official on earth. He would have a new title now, not one belonging to a knight of the realm but a title of a different kind:  _ **Dead Lord Ivan of Chillgrave, First and Last of his Name.**_

Walking to his courtroom and seating himself upon his chair, Ivan stared blankly at the empty hall all around him while he spoke out loud of everything and nothing.

And no one was there to hear.

' _ **And so he spoke, and so he spoke,**_

_**That Lord of Castamere,** _

_**But now the rains weep o'er his halls** _

_**And no one's there to hear.** _

_**Yes, now the rains weep o'er his halls** _

_**And not a soul to hear'** _

**The End**

* * *

 

*****Side Note: The story behind the 'Rains of Castamere'. Taken from 'Game of Thrones' Wiki:**

' **The** _ **Rains of Castamere**_ **immortalized the destruction of House Reyne by Tywin Lannister. House Reyne was obliterated after they rebelled against their liege lord, Tytos Lannister, who was perceived as weak by his own vassals. To restore Lannister dominance, Tytos' son, Tywin, marched against the upstart Lord Reyne. By the end of the rebellion, Castamere had been put to the torch and all members of House Reyne executed. The title is thus a play on words, as the "rains" fall over the empty halls of the "Reynes" who have been killed to the last man.**

**You may also find and listen to the song on Youtube or iTunes!**

 


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